The Best of Email Humor

I HATE SPAM. And I'm not too fond of impersonal "cut-and-paste" email either. However, I have received my share of cute and/or funny email stories/pictures. So I figured I'd start a little online library of my favorites. Some "adult" content, but nothing too major. Feel free to cut & paste them to your friends. I marked my favorites with a green dot . - jim

Table of Contents:

Administratium - The heaviest element yet known to science

Age Barometer - Do you remember candy cigarettes? Take the quiz.

Airline Humor - Cute excerpts of airline attendant's in-flight safety lectures.

Anagrams - Rearrange letters to form new words. Dormitory > Dirty Room.

Bad Jokes - Some great bad jokes.

Balls - Corporate America's recreation preferences.

Bumper Stickers - "Cover me. I'm changing lanes".

dotCanadian - Why can't I own a Canadian?

dotCarlin - The warped thoughts of George Carlin.

Cat Bath - How to bathe a cat.

Change Letter - Contest winners - Change one letter to create a brand new word.

Children's Books - Children's books you will never see.

Church Bloopers - "Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help."

Cigars - Only in the U.S. legal system. Man sues for cigars lost in "fires".

Conversions - "1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz"

Dilbert Contest - Submissions to a "Dilbert Quotes from real-life managers" contest.

Dog Laws - Dog Law #2: "If it's in my mouth, it's mine."

dotDr. Seuss - If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer...

Engineers - Understanding Engineers.

Ethical Questions - Two ethical questions.

Evaluation - Supervisor evaluations. :AVERAGE: Not too bright".

Excuses - Some actual written excuses given to teachers by parents.

From Kids - Things I learned from my children.

Fun Signs - "Mental Health Prevention Center"

Girlfriend 4.0 - Upgrading may cause conflicts.

God vs. Satan - God created healthful yogurt. And Satan brought forth chocolate.

Gorsky - Walking on the moon: "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky".

Guy Rules - Rules that guys wish girls knew.

Ha Ha's - "Honk if you love peace and quiet".

Headlines - "Clinton Wins Budget, More Lies Ahead"

Hell - Actual question on a University of Washington chemistry midterm.

Honk if you love Jesus - One baptist's experience at a traffic light.

Idiots - More evidence that this world is full of idiots.

Job Evaluations - Great line from job evaluations.

Leopard vs. Dog - Can a dog really out fox a leopard?

Life - Stages and facts of life.

Life's Rules - "A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory".

Lipstick - How a junior high principal solved a lipstick problem.

Marriage - "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight". -- Phyllis Diller.

McDonnell - McDonnell Douglas Warranty Registration Card.

Mergers - If 3M merged with Goodyear, what would you get? mmmGood.

Miller G.D. - Letter sent to Miller Brewing Company and their response.

- Mouse Balls - How to clean mouse balls.

M.S. vs. G.M. - If GM could evolve as fast as the computer industry...

New Words - "Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles."

Old - You know you're getting old when...

Out of College - You know you've been out of college too long when...

Politically Correct Men - How to talk about men and still be politically correct.

Personals - The real meaning of language in the personal ads.

Phrases - Useful work phrase #15: "How about never? Does never work for you?"

Police - Police humor.

Presidential Quiz - Which president allegedly had an affair with his wife's half sister?

dotPuns - Ten puns.

Quayle - Quotes from former Vice President Dan Quayle.

Quotes - Valuable quotes from comedians.

Redneck - You might be a redneck if....

Rejection - Top 10 Rejection Lines and what they actually mean.

Resume - Real-life examples of bad resume mistakes.

Rooney - Andy Rooney on....

Seminars - Seminars for men and women.

Sound Puzzle - Say it fast: LAWN SAND JEALOUS. Answer: Los Angeles

State Mottos - "Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi"

Stranded - Stranded on an island with nothing but bananas and coconuts. Stress - Anti-Stress Exercise:

Suburbs - God and St. Francis conversing about the suburbs.

Teaching Math - Teaching math in the 50's vs. the 90's.

Telemarketers - 10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer.

Theories - Contest winners of "submit a theory about any darned thing".

Top 10 - Top ten things that sound dirty but aren't:

Trivia - What was Gilligans first name?

Unexpected - Expect the unexpected.

Urine Test - Accurate, and only costs $10.00!

Van Gogh - Vincent Van Gogh's family tree. His dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh.

Venus and Mars - Creative writing true story. Received from English Professor.

Warnings - Actual label warning on Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping.

Wish to Say - Things We Wish We Could Say To Customers / Colleagues.

Witness - Things lawyers say: "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

Women Game - The "Make Women Happy Game".

Wonderful OS - Where would Microsoft be without the Mac?