HOW TO TALK ABOUT MEN AND STILL BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

He does not have a beer gut,
He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.

He is not a bad dancer,
He is Overly Caucasian.

He is not quiet,
He is a Conversational Minimalist.

He is not stupid,
He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.

He does not get lost all the time,
He investigates Alternative Destinations.

He is not balding,
He is in Follicle Regression.

He is not a cradle robber,
He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.

He does not get falling-down drunk,
He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.

He does not act like a total ass,
He develops a case of Rectal-Cranial Inversion.

He is not short,
He is Anatomically Compact.

He does not have a rich daddy,
He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.

He does not constantly talk about cars,
He has a Vehicular Addiction.

He is not unsophisticated,
He is Socially Malformed.

He does not eat like a pig,
He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.

He is not a sex machine,
He is Romantically Automated.

He does not hog the blankets,
He is Thermally Unappreciative.

He is not a male chauvinist pig,
He has Swine Empathy.

He does not undress you with his eyes,
He has an Introspective Pornographic Moment.

He is not afraid of commitment,
He is Monogamously Challenged.

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