In a restaurant: "Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager."

In the window of a store: "Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?"

On the grounds of a private school: "No trespassing without permission."

On a highway: "Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable."

On a poster: "Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help."

In a restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends."

On the side of a Health Center building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: "Do not activate with wet hands."

In a maternity ward: "No children allowed."

In an cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."

In a hotel: "Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing please don't read this notice."

In another hotel: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily."

A sign posted in a tourist camping park: "It is strictly forbidden on our camping sites that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose."

In a New Nairobi Club: "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."

In the same club: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."


MORE - Actual Business Signs


On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."

On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."

On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."

At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."

At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."

In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional."

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