Things I've learned from my children:

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.

It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it

A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies

If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old

Super glue is forever

McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know

No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water

Pool filters do not like Jello

VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do

Always look in the oven before you turn it on

The fire department in San Jose has at least a 5 minute response time

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy

It will however make cats dizzy

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy

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